Snark Review: Explosive Eighteen by Janet Evanovich

 

I hate writing bad reviews. I really, really do. But I just can’t help this snarkfest. Sorry ya’ll.

Grade: F

So, here I am again. I swore I wouldn’t read another Evanovich Plum Novel–after my last review of Smokin Seventeen, I swore tooth and nail to my husband, my mom, and my blog readers that I wouldn’t read it! So…I went to the library. I really just had to know if it was as bad as the previous one. After being teased that she might make a decision in 18, I let my small curiosity overshadow my intellect.

Remember back in the day of the early awesome plum books, where Stephanie felt BAD for kissing Ranger when she was dating Morelli? Remember back in the day where she swore she would never be like Joyce the whore? Remember? Well, it seems Stephanie has inhaled too many donuts, smoke fumes–from her cars always catching fire, and hair spray, because after she slept with Ranger and Morelli on back to back nights in 17, cementing her in my hoochie hall of fame; She is now sleeping with both men regularly in 18. How many times was it? 3 or so with Ranger? 2 or 3 with Morelli and then I’m sure her and Ranger had more sex in Hawaii than we were told. I mean, dudes–it’s Ranger…and Hawaii. I would! Well, I would if I wasn’t conflicted or dating another man, but hey, that’s me. I have morals and scruples and a code of non-whorism.

I wish Joe had caught Steph having sex with Ranger in Hawaii. That would have been good. I also wish we got to see Joe and Ranger fight. That would have been panty melting too. But No.

Picturing Lula in all black with painted on pants and boob squish, does make me laugh. I did laugh a little. But it doesn’t make up for the complete 180 degree turns every character in the Plum series has taken. Her mom is a lush, Steph is a whore, Ranger has no sack, Joe lost his possessive balls too, Lula still thinks too much about food, but she at least strives to be better…sometimes. When it’s easier 😉

It seems that after 18 books, Ranger and Morelli have lost their balls. Huh. Who would have seen that one coming. Heh, I said coming. Did Stephanie hear that? She probably is with one of them right now, and while in the throes with whomever it is, is secretly wondering how long she has to wait to sleep with the other one so she doesn’t seem tacky. Should she take a shower first? Nah. Why bother? She is just going to get sweaty again.

I jest. Sort of. I know, If I get so angry about the direction, why do I keep reading? I keep hoping things will change and they have! Finally, they have! Only for the worse. I remember thinking, why does she keep getting back with Joe? She should give Ranger a turn. Only, not this way. Why can’t she have a relationship again? For a whole book, let her be with Ranger! Then at the end, have Joe tell Ranger to meet him at midnight, in the dark park, alone. with no guns. Only fists. YAY!

Pulease.

Janet Evanovich? What on earth are you doing to your characters? They have completely morphed into pod-people. They have been replaced with robots!

Lula got on my nerves. She reminded me of Boomer from ESPN with his “Whoops!” with her “Bams!”

So, once again we are left on a ‘cliff’ only this time? I am not falling! I am going to back away, gracefully from the edge, and bow down to the awesomeness that Stephanie used to be, and keep her alive in my memories.

I am getting off the crazy train. If I want to read cars getting blown up, her sneaky snarkness, and some hot glimpses of two actual men…I’ll read the early plum books.

Rating:  ☠  ☠  ☠  ☠  ☠ 

© 2011 – 2014, Badass Book Reviews. All rights reserved.

Comments 12

  • […] Smokin’ Seventeen (2011), I just couldn’t. So I put it down. And I didn’t read Explosive Eighteen (2011). So I cannot tell you if Notorious Nineteen is better than the last two books. What I can tell you […]

  • Yes, I have read every single book of JE, except for the comic series. Read Nortorious 19 and the the latest fiasco the Husband List. The Husband List was like picking up a Harlequin Romanance novel at a discount store. Sounds harsh, but I’ve been reading your books for a long long long time and feel that I’m entitled to make a comment. I hope book 20 is the last one for the Stephanie Plum series. At this point i don’t care who Stephanie ends up with. Actually now, I don’t care if she would become a nun and Gramma Mozer got married. It’s been stretched out so far with “cupcake” and “babe” and car no #36 that has gotten bombed, I wonder if it’s about the money (quantity versus quality) or the following fan club that you had. Very dissappointing for your followers. Since the last 4 books these statements have been made by countless others. It’s the library or garage sale for me for future Plum series. Why not a new series?

  • […] “I am getting off the crazy train. If I want to read cars getting blown up, her sneaky snarkness, and some hot glimpses of two actual men…I’ll read the early plum books.” – Badass Book Reviews […]

  • Stephanie Plum 1 – 6 were best. After that, got less good, and around 13 really got “routine” with same types of scenes getting scotch-taped on…
    It’s as if someone else was writing them, instead of J.E.

  • […] Bitten and Drink Deep by Chloe Neill (I know, I’m cheating!) Smokin’ Seventeen and Explosive Eighteen by Janet Evanovich One Grave at a Time by Jeaniene Frost (I know, don’t hate me!) Feast by […]

  • So disappointed AGAIN by Janet and her failure she calls a “novel”. I stopped buying the books by the 14/15th book, as I was beyond pissed, not only wasting my money on a crap book but how nothing ever changes and it’s the same storyline AGAIN!!

    I got this out of the library, as curiosity got the better of me-as I swore I would not go near it again after the pile of crap the 17 one was, but I decided against my better judgement to read the 18th one. And after the first chapter it was pretty clear Janet had yet again skimmed the storyline when she had a great change to take the book in a different angle when Steph went on holiday and she could finally make a choice regarding which guy she wants….but noooooo Janet does her usual crappy writing and re-cycles the same storyline which we have read btw for 18 books now!!! Taking the f***ing piss.

    I will not read anymore of her books, I have been an avid fan for years now as I loved the first 9/10 books. After the 17th one I was shocked at how Janet was using this “whole dating two guys” at the same time as a storyline and thought it would get resoled in book 17 surely? But no Stephanie turned into a major whore…is it just me but if I did that in real life;1. my friends would think I was a slut, 2. u so would get caught and no guy ever would be that understanding!!! Its gone beyond a joke now as I feel Janet is publishing being a slut is ok…and ur suppose to be a role model. I am 23 but if my younger cousin or friend wanted to read these books I would not recommend them as quite frankly they do not portray females the way they should be.

    Janet, just retire-ur shit and u have completely lost it. U have enough money stop being so fricking greedy or will u finally write a ending to these books and give ur fans the ending they deserve???! That is she marries Joe and has kids with him and ranger can just bugger off somewhere.

  • I actually have this reserved at the library, I'm #267 in line, but I think I will pass on it, because I can't like a book if I can't even like it's characters. I think I'll take your advice about remembering Stephanie as she used to be….

  • I agree with your review. It was an awful book. JE not only can't write clever lines and a decent plot anymore she is destroying her characters. Stephanie use to feel guilt but now only seems to make her decision based on who is the best in bed. Fifty percent of the book is Lula, her wardrobe and what she is eating. Ugh!!

  • Ughhhhhh…….I got this book but have been completely undecided about whether or not I wanted to read it. Like you the curiosity is killing me 😉
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  • Did you see that they've made a movie of the first one starring Katherine Heigl and Jason O'Mara? It's coming out in January.

  • Wait… wait… wait…. Why on earth would you actually pick up this book? It felt wrong to see this cover on audible and not get it, but after Seventeen I am giving this series a rest.
    My recent post 2012 Immortal Reading Challenge